Prayerful time

As most of you know Jack is the reader in our house...we have so many piles of books overflowing in his office, our family room and that's not to mention all the books you see in his office that are his as well...so we have run out of space at our house. However, even though I like to give him the gears every now and then about his book collection, he has introduced me (the non-reader) to some very good self-help books. I had a book called Breathe, which I am just about done and last night he gave me a book on prayer. The book is called Guerrillas of Grace - Prayers for the battle by Ted Loder. Very good title, I thought and then when I started to look at the categories I saw myself in each area that I was in need of prayer. But most of all when I read Ted's introduction (or probe as he calls it) this jumped out at me:
"For at last I believe life itself is a prayer, and the prayers we say shape the lives we live, just as the lives we live shape the prayers we say; and it all shapes the kingdom which expresses itself in and among us, and for which we are guerrillas. I hope these prayers help you to take some new territory, to liberate imaginatively some part of your life, my sister and brother guerrillas. "...thy kingdom come..."
Thank you Jack for giving me such a book to help feed my soul and spirit. Also for helping me get through the things that I must deal with and to try and be at peace with everything. I love you with all my soul and heart, you are my rock.

Diagnosis Error

I found out yesterday that my dad does not have an aneurysm but mostly lymphoma again. The doctor says that because he has so much creatin in his kidneys and that some of the lymph nodes are infected he will need to be put back on chemo therapy in early June. Next week he needs a stint put in; a main portal for his chemo and they have put him on a very strong antibiotic and a prescription of predisone. Also I just heard that my brother-in-law, Stephan's surgery will be June 17th in Morristown, NJ. So I need to get my flight booked in and be there for my sister, brother-in-law and my darling 2 nephews. There is so much to do and take care of, I just hope that I have the strength to do it all. Cancer is so much part of our vocabulary these days that I need some good news. I do have some and there is more to come but with all this comes the stress to deal with everyone around me. Jack is so good with me and I need to lean on him more and more these days. I pray so many times a day that I wonder if God is tired of hearing from me. I have to believe that he walks with each of us during our moments of great need and that he will always be with us. I pray that the Lord continue to watch over my loved ones and close friends that are suffering with this awful disease. I pray that all of our heavy hearts will soon be lifted and that we will once again have good days ahead of us.

Cancer is everywhere

Everywhere we go and every person that we talk to, talks about the "c" word. We just can't get away from that. The update on my dad is that he has an aneurysm on his aorta. He also has a lymph node on his kidney that is infected and so more information is needed on both issues. Surgery is an option for the aneurysm, but again until he has an MRI test he must just wait. Many people live day to day with aneurysm and never know when it will burst. The lymph node is more than likely a continuation from his lymphoma that he had several years ago. We must be patient and have belief that the doctors can further investigate and get to the bottom of his ailments.
My brother-in-law, Steph has now read lots of information to inform himself better. He realizes that his cancer must be tackled sooner rather than later, so that is good. Again we must have faith and be patient for his outcome.
Why is it that everyone we talk to is feeling the same thing - they must have patience? I'm sure that we aren't born with and some learn it over the years and some (like myself) can't wait to find some. I have never been patient and yet some how I have no choice but to develop some. This is a difficult time and yet I know that God is here to help us. He is always walking with us during our times of difficult and he is always there when things are good. We just have to find the strength to believe. Thank you to everyone that sent there prayers our way, they were so needed and appreciated. I know that in the next couple of weeks answers will be found and then decisions will have to be made. But I trust that God will be there to help along the way.

Many prayers needed

I am in spiritual need! This has been the hardest week for our family in a long time. My very young, much loved young 47 year old brother-in-law, Stephan (my only sister's husband) was just diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer on Thursday. This past weekend it finally hit him that this is very serious. He thought that because he has competed in triathlons & is a marathon runner that it wouldn't happen to him. They live in the US and are able to access very good health care, but this is stage 4and there could be more issues if this has spread. Then on Saturday my dear great Aunt passed away at the age of 90. She filled every room with laughter and kindness and just pure fun. We will miss her dearly and she was the last of Grandpa's siblings to pass on. We attended her funeral in Vulcan today. Our house was filled with many family members from yesterday and will continue through part of the week. Then yesterday my darling children, Ryan, Breanne & Nicole (spouses too) took Jack and I out for dinner on Mother's day at Tony Roma's - quite a nice surprise with all that is going on.
Then to top it all off my dad went for his 2x a year cancer check up and it wasn't good. They have detected some wrong with his kidneys. As I type this we are waiting to hear what it is. When my younger brother, Mark called my dad he was near weeping on the phone and said that his CT scan was not good. This has all of us reliving the day we found out that he had Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma of the abdomen - 9 years ago. Such a horrific week and yet we must trust in the fact that God will be with all of us during our journey of treatments, surgery and the worst - the unknown. Pray, pray, pray......