Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Big Day

Well we are on the countdown until Nicole & Cecil officially tie the knot. I have done quite a bit of shopping with Nicole to find attendant gifts; search out centre pieces; buy wine for dinner and tonight I was invited to her stagette. Her girlfriends through a dinner party at Shanks and so us ladies (8 of us) along with many men and other stagette groups crowded into Shanks to celebrate everything you can imagine. There was football on tv; along with a boxing match. We met another bride to be along with a groom. Okay we thought he was the groom in the group, as he kept hanging out at our table, only to find out that he just preferred a table of mostly married ladies (me being the oldest). Now you know your old when you go to the bar and they i.d. everyone but you...what's that mean! Okay, I'm not offended as it really is Nicole's night to have fun.
Earlier today I sorted through the basement and started to make some semblance of wedding things. I thought that I would never see the floor but I did and now everything is neatly piled in one area ready to go to the hall for decorating. I even managed to get my sister's bedroom pulled together. I found the plates/napkins for the dessert night on Tuesday along with the tablecloths so things are good. Now I just need to do my accounting so that each event is billed accordingly.
So as I said we are 2 weeks away from a big celebration. All of my siblings plus my parents will be here in less than 2 weeks and I truly look forward to this. I know that it will be difficult see Nicole say "I DO" but when my kids left home they started on their adult life with out me then. I know that each of them have been given the tools to work through life's little maze and find there way in this world. I will always be here for them but I know that deep in my heart, they are headed in the right direction.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Nearing the End

What would it be like to be nearing the end of our life? Would it be scary? Would we be afraid? If we were still able to communicate, we would say the things to family that we wanted them to hear or would be want to make them feel good about life with out us? Right now my dear uncle is in this exact predicament. He has now been moved to palliative care in the hospital and will be kept comfortable. Between the brain tumors turning to decay and the multiple blood clots in his lungs, life as he knows will be over.
Jack (with all his books) read me a passage about a man's wife who was dying. The wife began to live each day with tremendous clarity and love. When it was nearly the end her husband got the courage to ask her a question - What does it feel like to live each day knowing you are dying? She said to him, What does it feel like to live each day pretending that you are not? Isn't this how we all feel when we visit someone nearing death? Unsure if it will be the last time we talk to them; are we searching to say the right thing; do we want to tell them that they are the best person they have ever known....my uncle is telling family right now that he is very tired and that he just wants to go and meet up with his grandson who left us at the age of 6, some 19 years ago. Now to me, that is hope. It is the strength from inside that tells him that there is something better for him on the other side and that a very special family member is waiting for him.
Now I sit and wait for my call (perhaps the last conversation) from a dear uncle. Jack had his call this afternoon and Jack says the conversation left Dana in tears and I'm sure Jack as well. I know that it won't be easy but I think that the truth and assurance that we will always be there for my aunt will help ease his mind.
God Speed my dear Uncle Dana...you will be missed but I know that Kevin is waiting for you and one day we will all be reunited together. The pain will ease for you and in time our pain will be diminished as well but your memory will always be one filled with joy, happiness and much love. Love you lots.......