My Christian Walk.......

I have been struggling lately with my faith. I know many people have experienced this during their lifetime but I have never felt it so present as this past couple of years. When I go to church I feel disconnected and that God isn't in the centre of my world. I feel that people are just going through the motions (including myself) to just be at a place to do the same thing and sing the same number of songs, week after week. My journey has me feeling like I need more out of life and that if I don't get it I won't want to worship again. Tonight Jack and I went to First Alliance and that tingling feeling that I once had came back to me. The service tonight reminded me of the Catholic service on Palm Sunday leading into Holy week, just prior to Good Friday. The songs and the 100's of people that were moved by the scripture tonight made me feel alive again. I felt God's presence and remembered why I pray to him and want to read more. Now I'm not an avid reader like my dear husband. He has hundred's of books on all kinds of topics which is way different then me. However, he gave me a book that he had and it has "me" written all over it. Actually, it has any women that is going 100 miles per hour, trying to multi task 4 things at once, this book is for you. The title is Breathe, Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life. When I started to read the first chapter and it was all about being busy and running as fast as we can...it was eerie as that is exactly what one of my blogs was about a couple weeks ago. Then when I read the next topic "A Healthy Soul" which talks about feeding your spirit; and how is the health of your soul? Then some more questions, "Do you feed your spirit good things? Do you exercise the part of you that is most truly and deeply you? Are you deeply satisfied with your spiritual life? Do you feel a sense of peace and Gods' presence most of the time? Once in a while? Ever? I couldn't believe it, that this chapter was talking to me about all the things that I am feeling.
Jack and I have talked at great lengths about each of our spiritual journeys and how different we both are. But are we really? I think that sometimes I see myself as being in an infant stage that it scares me and then at other times I see so much knowledge that I have to laugh to think that I got it without even getting it. Jack and I have committed to both of us reading, researching, reaching out to find out more about where we are going on our spiritual journey. We have to inform ourselves; test one another as to where we are; pray together to keep us connected. But most of all we have to hear God's word such as Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give your rest" (Matt. 11:28) He offers rest for the weary, true spiritual rest that refreshes us and connects us with him. God meets us in our weariness and our place of weakness. And I truly believe that the only way that I will get healthier is to take time to heal and be less involved; less running in so many different directions but most of all become closer to God by reading and understanding where I am to go. God has a plan for all of us and now it's my job to figure out what that plan is. I think that together with Jack that we can both embark on this journey to fulfill our lives spiritually,mentally and physically. I also believe that we will become better people and hopefully I pray that I will get my passion and faith back.