October 2008 - My last year of being in my 40's!!!!!

I can honestly say that I am excited about turning 50 next year. I have had such a traumatic couple of 30's & 40's that I never thought I would enjoy saying that I can hardly wait to get through being 49 and turning 50. It might have something to do with the man that I married and how content and happy I am in my life! But then again the economy sucks right about now...but who cares, as I am having the time of my life just being 49, married to a great man and about to hit the the half a century in age. My grandma and I are exactly 40 years apart and when I look at her life and how happy her and my grandpa were, I'm very excited to hit 50 next year. I watched a program that talked about if women could go back in their lives, which ten year span would they live and almost all of them said there is nothing like being in your late forties or entering into your fifties. Your kids have gotten their own lives and don't depend on you, as well you have found security within yourself and are on an even plateau with your spouse. Well I will definitely vouch for the even plateau with your spouse, as well my security has never been better. I have found that even though I carried a chip on my shoulder for many years (with being a single parent) I have become more self confident and self assured more than ever. I love life and I have found that God plays a big part in that. He has been with me for all of my journey and no matter what mistakes I made or what road I took my kids on, I could always count on him to be with me. I never endangered my kids but I know that there were many days when I wondered how I would feed them or pay for the roof over their heads. My biggest worry was how they would look at me for what I put them through with no dad in the picture, but as time went by it was "dad" that didn't want to be in the picture with them. I love my children more than life itself but even more I love myself for what I have accomplished through these years of hardship. But further more, I love my husband for helping me become the person that I am becoming....rich in faith, believing in myself and having God in my life, helping my children to become more dependent on making their own decisions for themselves. I just know that by next year I will be a better person, richer in spirit but most of all I will be seasoned with lots of life's experiences! I can hardly wait for October 2009!!!!