October 2008 - My last year of being in my 40's!!!!!

I can honestly say that I am excited about turning 50 next year. I have had such a traumatic couple of 30's & 40's that I never thought I would enjoy saying that I can hardly wait to get through being 49 and turning 50. It might have something to do with the man that I married and how content and happy I am in my life! But then again the economy sucks right about now...but who cares, as I am having the time of my life just being 49, married to a great man and about to hit the the half a century in age. My grandma and I are exactly 40 years apart and when I look at her life and how happy her and my grandpa were, I'm very excited to hit 50 next year. I watched a program that talked about if women could go back in their lives, which ten year span would they live and almost all of them said there is nothing like being in your late forties or entering into your fifties. Your kids have gotten their own lives and don't depend on you, as well you have found security within yourself and are on an even plateau with your spouse. Well I will definitely vouch for the even plateau with your spouse, as well my security has never been better. I have found that even though I carried a chip on my shoulder for many years (with being a single parent) I have become more self confident and self assured more than ever. I love life and I have found that God plays a big part in that. He has been with me for all of my journey and no matter what mistakes I made or what road I took my kids on, I could always count on him to be with me. I never endangered my kids but I know that there were many days when I wondered how I would feed them or pay for the roof over their heads. My biggest worry was how they would look at me for what I put them through with no dad in the picture, but as time went by it was "dad" that didn't want to be in the picture with them. I love my children more than life itself but even more I love myself for what I have accomplished through these years of hardship. But further more, I love my husband for helping me become the person that I am becoming....rich in faith, believing in myself and having God in my life, helping my children to become more dependent on making their own decisions for themselves. I just know that by next year I will be a better person, richer in spirit but most of all I will be seasoned with lots of life's experiences! I can hardly wait for October 2009!!!!

What an Uplifting Service!

What a day! We went with heavy hearts expecting to have such a sad service for a baby that was way to young to pass on. And yet what we got was 2 grandfathers talking quite openly; a host of pictures that brought everyone to tears to see such a beautiful child taken from his family and yet we know that God lends us our children as they are not ours to keep.
When Barb and I were asked by Patti & Kevin to put the lunch on, we were humbled to know that they wanted us to do this for them. It was an undertaking and yet we know that our church family wanted to help and support this family. And did they ever answer the challenge...thank you, thank you church family & friends for bringing so much food that no one went hungry today. Also, we were able to send food for the Clark families and still have more than enough to give to Teen Challenge - a charity that we knew would accept this kind of a donation.
Then when we thought we couldn't shed anymore tears, Kari & Jordan got up and talked and praised everyone for the support they had been given. I always find it encouraging to hear from the ones that can, during their moments of grief, a true from the heart thank you. I believe that if you can, you should as there is nothing like a personal, outpouring of thanks while your supporters are all together. Just by Kari & Jordan sharing their blog about there experiences, trials & disappointments with Drew's medical journey, this too was touching to know just how much everyone meant to them. When this happens it makes a person wonder if and when your time comes to be at the front, could you stand up in front of so many and thank those who came? Would you buckle at the knees? Could you tell a crowd just how much that loved one meant to you and that your life will go on without them? Could you keep it together and be audible for all to hear? Would you wonder if God would be so ever present to help you during this time of need? I guess that as time goes by and one day our time will be that time to be at the front of the room...I hope and pray that I too can be the strong one to stand and thank so many. I pray that I can feel uplifted by all who come to share in the celebration of life of my loved ones.

Such a Sad Day

At church this morning we learned that Drew would probably not be with us much longer. And so when we were driving home we got word that Drew had passed away. With much heartache for his parents and brother plus the rest of the families dealing with this sadness, we have to remember that God thought that it was time to call Drew home. Jack and I watched a great video clip about a message to all of God's children and how he is waiting in heaven to welcome each and everyone of us home. I have to believe that this is our ultimate goal to be reunited with our "Father". I keep hearing that folks won't be in pain nor suffer anymore with whatever they did here on Earth. I also know that from this experience we all will love one another just a bit more and not take our family for granted, as we never know what plan God has for us. Rest in peace, little Drew. You will never be forgotten. You have impacted more people than you really know...you were loved by many.

Fall Time - And New Beginnings

It seems that September had just begun and yet when I look at the calendar it is nearly over. My little brother had a birthday in Washington that we were able to celebrate with him; my older brother will turn a half a century old on the last day of September and we had three days in Lake Louise for an oil conference and then we were whisked away to Arlington, Virgina and Washington,DC for a family wedding. Now I am sitting at home wondering where September went. Have you ever had one of those months and just wondered where time went?
The only good thing about September was that we were able to explore one of the oldest, most historic US cities and loved every minute of it. We were able to take underground subways and not get lost; we took in many of the tourist sights and had tourist guides fill our heads with so much history; plus we got to go to a MLB game and feast on a seafood buffet before the game. We attended my godson Camille's wedding in the most beautiful cathedrals that we have ever been in. This far surpassed some of the churches that we saw in all of Italy, and trust me we were in a lot of churches. We were part of a small, intimate wedding complete US style and felt like royalty. So many traditions and yet in Canada we spread our wedding festivities out to last hours. We walked many museums and learned about US history along with going to the Holocaust and learning first hand about the torture that was handed out to so many. I learned that my grandfather was dictated to to fight in a war and lose his life in a foreign country and that my grandmother, uncles & father lost a father all for a wicked, evil man that hurt so many. And yet it is the US that brought that history to America for all to see. Somehow when you tour that building you see so much hatred in the world still going on and so many wicked people wanting things done there way (right or wrong) - evil or non-evil. Somehow history has a way of repeating itself. Yet in a city like Washington we never saw graffiti, never saw garbage strewn about; never saw beggars like we have here; and never saw people being rude or pushing their own agenda's on the subway system...we can learn about changing our ways with a system like that.
Yet we are glad to be home - you bet. So much has taken place even moved on since we have been away and yet it is still good to be home and smell the roses (wilted and drying up) but that's okay as a new season is upon us.

End of August - beginning of New Beginnings

What a busy couple of weeks. Between my uncle in Edmonton recovering from brain cancer (first it was colon cancer and now this), and now my parents are here to help celebrate my great Aunt & Uncle's 60th Wedding Anniversary the month of August has just flown by. What an accomplishment thinking about 60 years being married and even my parents having achieved 50 years of marriage this year, to someone that will never reach that milestone given our ages. But I believe that every year that a person is married is a celebration, especially when cancer is so much part of our lives. My great uncle is going through cancer of the stomach and yet he still is an accomplished violinist, journalist and a husband caring for his wife - both in their 80's. Can you ask for anything better with that lifestyle and marriage accomplishment? We can all wonder about our own life expectancy but sometimes people never think about marriage longevity? Kind of a surprise when you think about how excited folks are in the beginning of planning a wedding or a life together..we forget to take inventory later on in the years about being excited for what else is going to happen down the road; or in the middle of the journey. As we get older we only plan for the next holiday or worse the next long weekend. We need to think about the tomorrows before they get here and include our spouses and make it a real plan together. Do you have your plan? Are you prepared for the next year; the next five years or what about the next 10 years? I know that Jack and I talk about our plans all the time and even though we might never hit retirement together, we know that our plans take us through this month and onto the next couple with all kinds of togetherness and celebrations. We encourage everyone to come up with a couples plan - could be fun and exciting but most of all could be like starting all over again in the beginning - you just never know!

60 Years of Marriage

What a busy couple of weeks. Between my uncle in Edmonton recovering from brain cancer (first it was colon cancer and now this), and now my parents are here to help celebrate my great Aunt & Uncle's 60th Wedding Anniversary the month of August has just flown by. What an accomplishment thinking about 60 years being married and even my parents having achieved 50 years of marriage this year, to someone that will never reach that milestone given our ages. But I believe that every year that a person is married is a celebration, especially when cancer is so much part of our lives. My great uncle is going through cancer of the stomach and yet he still is an accomplished violinist, journalist and a husband caring for his wife - both in their 80's. Can you ask for anything better with that lifestyle and marriage accomplishment? We can all wonder about our own life expectancy but sometimes people never think about marriage longevity? Kind of a surprise when you think about how excited folks are in the beginning of planning a wedding or a life together..we forget to take inventory later on in the years about being excited for what else is going to happen down the road; or in the middle of the journey. As we get older we only plan for the next holiday or worse the next long weekend. We need to think about the tomorrows before they get here and include our spouses and make it a real plan together. Do you have your plan? Are you prepared for the next year; the next five years or what about the next 10 years? I know that Jack and I talk about our plans all the time and even though we might never hit retirement together, we know that our plans take us through this month and onto the next couple with all kinds of togetherness and celebrations. We encourage everyone to come up with a couples plan - could be fun and exciting but most of all could be like starting all over again in the beginning - you just never know!

Busy Weekend

Jack and I decided that this weekend was more about him needing to be in Regina for Carol's funeral service and being that this was more the "Ashby" side, that I would go up to Edmonton and spend time with Rachelle & Dana who is in the hospital recovering from brain cancer. It turned out that Rachelle was able to get Dana out on a day pass and so we took him to Bernie's trailer at the lake. That man has gone from XLarge clothing to a man's size small golf shirt and 32" waisted pants. Both bouts of cancer have taken a toll on his body. However one good thing was that his thought process was much better than it has been in previous visits. God works through people in so many different ways, that it is a marvel to see what he can do for some. I pray that Dana's radiation treatments will go okay and give him the pressure release on the brain that he so desperately needs. I pray that Rachelle receives good news tomorrow and that we have Dana around for many, many more years to come. We have just been so blessed with both of them as family members and such great friends. We pray for strength and endurance for Rachelle in the event that she has to make some tough decisions about Dana's next couple of months...may God give her wisdom, patience and most of all support to know that she is making all the right decisions based on Dana's needs at this time. God has shown me such power in so many people that have been living with this awful cancer sickness. He does have a plan for each of us and may I be able to live with my plan should this be his way for me or those close to me.